reviews and ratings

Here is the guide to my reviewing system:

5 stars = Stellar: If any object or place gets this rating, it means that I recommend it under any circumstance. There will never be any reason not to (purchase/visit) this (object/place). You will rarely see this. Ever. It is not because I have no faith in humanity - I just don't like grade inflation.

4 stars = Excellent: If a object or place gets this recommendation, I strongly suggest you take my advice and (purchase/visit) it. It will increase your quality of life*.

3 stars = Good: You don't have to (purchase/visit) this (object/place) and I cannot be held liable if it does not increase your quality of life*. Its decent and perhaps has a maximum of a couple of glaring issues. Should you make a pilgrimage to it? Probably not.

2 stars = Passable: If you had no other choice but to (purchase/visit) this (object/place) I would not look down on you. It is more likely that I will pity your situation. Perhaps it has some other non-tea-related charm that's desirable. If so, that doesn't really count here.

1 star = FAIL: Under no circumstance should you ever, ever, (purchase/visit) this (object/place). I wouldn't recommend it to my worst enemies. I wouldn't even recommend it to cancer. If anything gets this rating, then it is because something has gone seriously wrong.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I will on occasion give places a non-stellar-integer rating (i.e. 3.49 stars). In these cases, the rating value will always be rounded down as far as the image goes. In reality, it means I am lazee and don't want to photoshop additional star image ratings.

Ratings weights:

Tea: Tea will be rated on the flavor profile alone. I will, if possible, compare it to a similar tea already in my possession.

Tea pots and brewing devices: These devices will be heavily weighted towards practicality, then price, then aesthetic beauty.

Tea vendors: Vendors will be rated both on quality and selection. Service shall also be heavily considered with the charm factor of the place carrying the least weight. If the vendor is local (i.e. in NYC) then I will also link to a yelp page if available.

Tea serving establishments: These will be rated on selection (tea and tea related perishables), quality, and service all equally. The next important criteria is price. The charm of the establishment will be taken into account although it will not be weighted very heavily. Non-tea related aspects such as "Oh, and they serve a delicious meatloaf" will not be accounted for. As with the vendors, these ratings will almost always link to a corresponding yelp page.

If you have any doubt about the arbitrariness of my ratings then please continue to do so. These ratings will always and forever be my subjective opinion.

*quality of life as determined by the hypothetical: If you were me taking my advice, then it would increase your quality of life. Of course since you are me and, therefore, you would have made the same suggestion, there would never be an occasion for disagreeing. Unless I/you are the kind of person to disagree with yourself. meta.